Final Entry for 2012 - Battle Plans for 20X3

on Set of firebird, blog later

After some Neglect once again on my blog, I thought I'd give a yearly overview of my performancing.

Basically this year has been an immense milestone for me for many reasons, it has not been easy nor has it been totally Taxing, though that might be because I don't scar easily on how taxing it was at times, I do have a High Pain threshold. 

With all this of course comes many rewards. Most importantly this year I learned more about myself and its been along time coming...

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Singapore Night Skyline from MBS

It's my first year out of hometown Sydney, I spent about a year in Singapore and it took several months before I could call it home. I have made a formidable pool of friends here, FB reports what would average about a friend made a day, almost all of them from sets and productions great people and talented in the own right, which shows how much I have been getting around the industry here. I lost count of hot many auditions I been to a long time ago, but it must add up to 80 or 100 or so now, about 20-25 or so of them I'd land big and small roles, and that is enough to keep me afloat to pay rent, spoil myself a bit (sometimes others) and pay of general daily expenses.

I an challenged in Singapore and that is whats important, I am challenged to survive, socialize, perform and satisfied with some money, sense of self-sustainability, passion and constant opportunities. 

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On set of the Glob

I still often dip into a Probono gig, I'm a hard learner, but I like to think of it as time to keep my Diva and humbleness in check. This photo is from the set of student film, a passionate bunch with an imagination, they had me at Scientist in the Sci-Fi cast call out. (blog on this later)

With Universal Studios Singapore Halloween (link to blog entry) I learned how to Shout and scream and still keep my voice for days, thanks to training I done 2 years ago that I finally put to good use.
 
I got my left ear Pierced which isn't the best idea of the year because my body sucks at healing flesh wounds. But I have a new hobby of collecting  object like earrings now.

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I think she was the Producer of the student film Mr bench?

I kinda Smoke now, in an industry full of smoggy break takers it was only fitting I smoke to network, but I'd network everyday almost. But I have some Disciplining rules to keep it at bay.

About Sexuality and Female energy, So this year I moved into an apartment with my landlord/housemate who is a Gay fellow. Naturally we hanged out quite a bit and I learned a lot about sexuality from him (without touching the gay side mind you). See the usual straight person would see normal sexuality as attracted to the opposite: males or females and then there is the "others" category where we simply put gays, lesbians, transvestites, Bisexuals and well the rest. I originally saw this Others* category to be like a zoo, I was; to put it bluntly quite amused by their nature, not offended or curious simply amused. I learned that homosexuals alone are much more complicated, they themselves have as much difference in taste, behavior and preference in their ecosystem. That said, and my research done, I think I'm ready for that award winning broke-back mountain film role, after I get a few straight lead roles anyway, cause I can't let that be my debut. 

On the Topic of sexuality a friend of mine who loves to dissect human behavior and stuff lead me to discover the concept of gender energy. Apparently and I'm not going to deny it, I have female energy, now this is not gay, feminine like or whatever that is blindly obvious on the surface by appearance or behavior, this is a bit harder to explain. It is kinda the way I express myself and socialize (probably perform as well), this energy flows through my male body and affects me in every other way. Some examples, I like the female assets and figure but I'm not like a guy who can talk and look at it all day (unless maybe I can touch it), I like cooking and comfort food but I never cook and have yet to consider the concept of Ice cream therapy, I "like" to get moody but have well control over it, I like female pop feel good music, the way I like cheap thrills and getting excited, I no longer deny myself of a bit of sob and sappy moment in a film or stage performance, I get along great with my gay house mate like no other straight male, I have a strong sense of empathy and sympathy, I like retail therapy and buying clothes though I buy pretty shabby stuff not quite metro-sexual, I am jealous of all the female fancy outfits on the market, however I think I do have a pair or 2 of girl jeans and I can pull 'em off. 

That's all off my head anyway and my grasp of logic tells me it's all pretty weird, it should make me fairly unique cause even if it's just a concept, it explains a lot more than "I'm just open to things" and for what it's worth I'd have to learn how to wield it to my advantage. Of course it has it's detrimental effects, firstly I think I attract gay guys and my love life for example; I notice all things that ladies do to enhance themselves, new dress? handbag? or you done your nails? I like to talk about the drama, ladies like enjoy doing all this but honestly you sound like a girlfriend fool. I get along great with girls but I've noticed that I don't truly give off the masculine energy for chemistry. For quite some time I have idolized strong fictional masculine male beings like Transforming Robots, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Wolverine and have denied myself from things like feelings and emotions, which on the other hand isn't human or actor like at all. I will embrace my female energy. (note none of those characters are really human)

Blogging too much often leads to one spilling personal information, I believe I am comfortable with that at this stage, and as long as I can justify it with acting and production. One of the things that came back to Singapore late last year after my first visit was because I fell in love, not with just the industry and the country, but with a girl. It was the perfect storm to stir my rigid sense of humor, logic and emotional grasp. without going into the fragile and melancholy details, things didn't work out and I was hurled into a whirlwind of feelings and inner trauma, in this gentle long winded brutal breakup I discovered a lot of emotions I've denied myself for years. For one I cried for the first time in like 10 years for one and at one stage was able to do it on cue, can't say that ability stuck, I probably need to practice. other emotions were the common denial, delusional, remorse, there's still hope etc, it's at a comfortable distance and silence now. I am grateful for these experiences and these emotions I will wield with care when the time calls in my performance. My love life is certainly challenged now and that just might be how I like to keep it with my women.

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Bugis Street Market (click for blog entry)

I have made my mark in Singapore, several times my name or appearance has preceded my flesh, that is endearing and makes me continue what I do, I went to an audition last week and the producer/casting director said the current intern vouches for me, because I auditioned or had a part in their short film or something like that in Lasalle. 

I know I'm doing something right when my cameo appears on the big Led screens at Bugis street and scape at somerset, or that time mid year I was on the windows of MRTs.

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Click for blog entry

Still it's far from where I want to be and I am starting to feel my glass ceiling in Singapore. Next year I intend to wrap up things in Singapore, go home and work and save up a bit before I dip into another country.

I've heard good things about Edinburgh and if not that then perhaps its time to attack L.A. 

For those who are reading this, if you do your personal best then you are the best at what you do, like Wolverine. 

For a long time my goal was simply to be the best jack I can be, this year I'll aim for something a little different, something to push myself a bit more outside the comfort zone, to be a bit more than myself, presenting this New Years Revolution* 

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Act Like 
The Best Jack You Don't Know Yet!

HAPPY NEW YEAR 20X3!

Yearly Performance Rating: 8/10